I REALLY HAD SOMETHING PRINCE RELATED lined up to write about today but I’ll shelve that for a day or so; I feel compelled to jump on another subject of note from this weekend and that subject is this: The only thing funnier than people repeatedly criticizing Beyoncé’s work (and it’s generally pretty damn good work) is the horde of Beyoncé fans that feel the need to unnecessarily come to her rescue.
I’ve talked about the group known as the Beyhive, the fiercely loyal group indelibly tied to Mrs. Knowles-Carter, before here on my little space on the internet. Once upon a time Wu Tang Clan had the monopoly on Killer Bees. No longer, they’ve been usurped by the “beys” of a different spelling. These span from teenagers to grown-the-hell-up-ass women. They are all colors. They are male and female. They are at every show. And they want your blood if you even think a solitary negative thought about Beyoncé.
All of your blood.
Now there’s really no need to get into the whole Rachel Ray fiasco at this point because it’s well documented how some misguided, and obviously not quite reading at grade level, members of the ‘Hive came hunting for her and were on her Instagram cussing out pictures of food and recipes. I can only assume that Ms. Ray was left shivering in a corner and after ripping all the Ethernet cables out of her computers and throwing her WiFi router in the pool out back after being verbally berated after simply wanting to break y’all off with some warm and flaky buttermilk biscuits.
My question though is simply, “Why?”
I understand fandom. Really I do. Back in the day I was a devoted member of Friends of Janet when that was a thing. Before I was a FOJ, I was a Janet Jackson fanatic dating back to the TV show, “Fame”, and “Diff’rent Strokes” before that…and “Good Times” before that. I did the fan meetups, the special ticket promos that got me seats close enough to the stage to get Janet sweat on my shirt, and got all the cool Janet swag – the tee shirts, the hats, and the buttons and if I didn’t get all I was supposed to get, I was on the internet as fast as my dial up connection would allow to get all my isht because if I’m sitting second row center Janet might get a glimpse of me and she needed to see that I had all my Janet buttons. I get devotion and the occasional desire to rally but I don’t remember people coming for other people’s necks; it’s different with the Beyoncé fans. They tend to go full Game of Thrones on these folk, riding in on dragons barefoot wearing full length ball gowns brandishing Louisville Sluggers just like their hero on the latest video for the night is dark and full of Beyhive members! They out here on Twitter standing sentinel like modern day S1W’s (Public Enemy reference, look it up) just waiting on someone to talk reckless so they can get to twirling and slaying on these folk via keyboard and they won’t rest until the Twitter mentions of the offending party looks like 10 minutes after Hiroshima and there’s been a full write up of the massacre on all the major entertainment blogs. But why though? Why?
Are there ticket prizes for the most brutal Hive member? Is there a pecking order amongst the group that one virtually ascends when they defend the Queen’s honor successfully? After a computer based flawless victory against a Bey naysayer do you get to hang with Solange and Beyoncé at a brunch that’s now has to be hosted by Bobby Flay instead of Rachel Ray because she’s STILL afraid to come out of the house? Why, why, why the need to defend so heavily? Because, while I don’t know much about Beyoncé, I’m pretty sure that she takes the time occasionally to giggle her pretty ass off about all of it. I’m certain that she’s amused that she has her very own Knights of the Round Beyhive out here in these streets jousting on her behalf while she is likely lying in the middle of her living room floor making snow angels in $100 bills. Why? Why? Why? I’m sure there’s reasoning for it, I’m also sure that whatever that reason is, it isn’t necessary because while people are out here Hunting For Haters all she doing is cashing more checks, making more videos, and becoming even more of an icon – all of which she can do without people committing internet murder via social media. Even still though, if you’ve got answers I’m interested to know what that’s about.
And I’m asking with all respect because I see how y’all do out here. I’m not trying to come up missing behind a blog post on a little read slice of the internet machine.
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